family now

I married my wife, Kat, in 2015, and gained two wonderful kids (now 16 and 22). We live in the Phoenix metro, near Kat's parents. While not a blended family, per se, my adult no-kids, no-pets life changed a lot after moving into their home...our home. I love being a bonus mom (I approach it a lot like being an aunt, but with more day-to-day connections). I even love our two cats and little dog. Sometimes I say that being in Arizona is an acquired taste, and I'm still acquiring it. Truth be told, my love for life with my wife, kids, and our three quadrupeds was made easier by their quick welcome of me into their lives.

​

Lasting Friendships

Looking back, I have been graced with dear friends throughout my life--people who help me see the world in new ways, who affirm the best in me, and have helped me understand myself and the world around me. There's nothing like being with friends who have known me for decades, and my friends are people who have shaped me in profound ways. Coming out, changing jobs, grieving the loss of my parents, making relationship decisions, sifting and sorting through what I believe and what I value...all of these things have been done with input from my friends. They have helped me value myself, taught me the importance of authentic questions, and modeled what it means to hold space for other people. 

​

Sounds idyllic, doesn't it?

​

Real Life

I am grateful for my life. All of it. Even the challenging stuff. After all, happy families and good friends don't save a person from hard things, and in my life they have taken many forms:

• Anxiety and depression have been constants in my life since high school.

• Losing my mom to ALS when I was 38 and my dad many years later to old age introduced me to grief and loss that lingers and impacts my life to this day.

• Coming out to my family and friends as a gay woman (a truth I rejected for decades because of my understanding of evangelical faith), pushed me to lean into my fears, claim my identity, and welcome love. Together, we have chosen to value our relationships as a family first and foremost. We recognize that while we see gay marriage differently (an outgrowth of our individual faith commitments), this doesn't negate our respect or love for each other.

• Not only did marriage usher in being a wife and a bonus mom, it also placed me in the sandwich generation–juggling the needs of my life, marriage, kids, and aging in-laws.

• Moving from Minnesota to Arizona has necessitated developing friendships and connections within a new community. This may be the hardest part of relocating in mid-life.

​

In the midst of these challenges, I've initiated career changes, faced financial insecurity, sifted and sorted through my core beliefs, and ultimately reinvented myself personally and professionally. Recently, I've been savoring the opportunities I've had to walk with others through their challenges, diagnoses, transitions, and triumphs. I have been reminded that listening carefully to others as they share their own stories, asking authentic questions, and coming alongside with encouragement and ideas, is a source of deep joy. It is as natural to me as breathing, and it is a great delight.

​

These are the things that have shaped who I am and what I do. As a coach, I plan to bring all of this together in the service of clients who, like me, want to live fully realized lives.